"There are generally no reporters at our matches, either to see our team's performances, or my dimples."
Mithali Raj, captain of the Indian women's team, bemoans the lack of media coverage of women's cricket
"I've always subscribed to the theory that you shouldn't make a fast bowler angrier than he already is."
A deadpan James Sutherland, Australia's chief exec, when asked for his thoughts about Tait's action
"Who made them boring?"
Looking straight at the camera, a deadpan Richie Benaud responds to Geoff Boycott's call for four-day Tests because five days are, apparently, boring
"I realised the ball was bigger than one person, bigger than Gilchrist. It was the public's ball."
In a speech worthy of a film, John, the man who found the ball Adam Gilchrist hit for his hundredth Test six, reveals why he decided to hand it back
"I'm not the boozing and eating machine as some people think."
Stuart MacGill calls it as he sees it
"We are hoping to play New Zealand ... we are sure if we do not beat them, we can fight them."
Afghanistan coach Taj Malik causes palpitations in both the ICC and United Nations
"Yeh to Geoffrey Boycott ki maa bhi pakad leti". [Even Geoffrey Boycott's mum would have caught this.]
Atul Wassan gets innovative in describing the sitter Misbah-ul-Haq dropped in the slips, off Robin Uthappa
"I love the Boss range of grooming products and use Boss Skin refreshing face wash on a daily basis. When I'm playing cricket I apply Boss Skin Revitalizing moisturizer with SPF 15 to help protect against sun damage. At night I use the Boss Skin Moisture Gel."
Any ideas who Kevin Pietersen is promoting?
"Shane, with your, er, sorry Shane."
An unnamed reporter can't let go of Shane Warne's memory as he starts a question to Stuart MacGill ... who had just reached 200 Test wickets
"Just bring the cards to the ground."
Ricky Ponting when asked how he'll deal with the wet weather forecast for the first two days of the Brisbane Test against Sri Lanka
"Andre unfortunately only had one line that he was dishing out to Shoaib Malik and the boys so it got a bit monotonous there. We just had a chat to Andre and said to Graeme Smith, 'Well, look he's only traipsing out one line, it's getting a bit boring'."
The umpire Simon Taufel keeps a straight face as he explains that he found Andre Nel's sledges, sorry sledge, a bit repetitively dull
"We were at a warm-up game in Zimbabwe once and the fast bowlers were on with the old ball. I was standing at slip with Inzi next to me. We crouched down as you do when the bowlers were coming in. Four or five balls later, I noticed Inzi was still crouching and surprised, I asked him if everything was ok. He replied, "I'm fine, just trying to sleep. The ball is old and reversing so there's hardly a chance there will be any edges to snap up."
Aamer Sohail recounts a classic Inzamam-ul-Haq anecdote
"Well, thank God we've arrived in Sri Lanka, where there don't appear to be any strip clubs whatsoever."
Paul Collingwood's relieved on realising there's little scope of being spotted in all the wrong places in Sri Lanka (He was fined by the English Board when he went to a strip joint in South Africa)
"I don't know - for us or for Pakistan?"
Graeme Smith wittily replies when asked if the absence of Shoaib Akhtar would be an advantage during South Africa's tour of Pakistan
"If I was sitting in an armchair then I'd be disappointed as well."
Rahul Dravid with a message for armchair fans who were critical of his decision not to enforce the follow-on at The Oval
"I don't know what that's all about, mate. The only person I can remember doing it was a wrestler called the Rock."
Jason Gillespie can't remember anyone else referring to themselves in the third person, as England players such as Michael Vaughan are getting into the habit of doing
"A great advert for cricket."
BBC football correspondent Mark Lawrenson is frustrated with a boring first half of the FA Cup final, played just up the road from England's tussle with West Indies
That's enough, I think... There are just too many