Shaken and Stirred

 Dear heart, Why do you have to be so tempestuous? At one instance, jumping with pleasure at the sight of a text, and then plunging to the depths of the dark oceanic abyss when you realize its not from who you wanted it to be. Why do you make up highly detailed IMAX 3-D like dreams based on a few sweet words uttered, a stolen glance or two or a half-smile? And then again create horror movies with sudden jump-scares at the slightest rejection, cold look or request for need of "space"? These palpitations of yours make me oscillate between extremes. I cannot focus or concentrate on anything except how you are feeling and why. I am only a mere adventurer on a raft - going where the waves of your emotions take me. On the crests, I feel like I am on top of the world. But the troughs soon follow where the world seems bottomless. The painless are the steady days - with mild sinus rhythms as the waves gently lap around me. But you come back with a riposte - who wants to live steady? W...

I read this blog post on the turmoil of the twenties. In an eloquent piece, the blogger captures the pangs that one goes through on the threshold of 'true adulthood'. The following is my (unsolicited) response: As a guy on the verge of turning 29, I have gone through the phase you are speaking of. There is no guarantee that I won't go through it again, but it is worthwhile to pen down your thoughts when they seem crystal clear after having gone through a time of muddy swirling nothingness. 1. Disable your facebook account. Humans have survived for hundreds of thousands of years without it. I am sure you can survive the next 20. Alternative is to unsubscribe the 'friends' you speak of. You barely keep in touch with them anyway, just spend precious moments you should be spending thinking of you in thinking and probably cursing them. 2. Decide if you are all about money. You know that already I presume, else there would be no blog entry. 3. Do something. G...

Love. It can be fulfilling and frustrating at the same time. Something you wish you had never encountered and yet can't wait till it strikes again. Setting aside all the cliches about the melodrama love entails, it is quite evident that it does not follow the dictum - once bitten twice shy. It is quite possible for a person to hesitate to confess to the quickening of the pulse and the general debilitation of the central nervous system at the mere sight of another after faltering at a similar endeavour earlier. But, that does not imply the absence of all and any falling victim to the vicissitudes of the villainy of the vain heart, which causes pain not just to itself but to the gullible host as well. Love is the phenomenon that thrives in adversity. This fact is well documented. You give it war, inter-religion rivalry, societal mores and it will find a way to thwart the odds. But at an individual's level, it shows this fickle nature by springing its cupid head when you least...

The Supreme Court of India recently threw out petitions seeking legal prohibitions on the "immorality" involved in pre-marital sex and live-in relationships. While the honorable Court refused to delve into the moral aspects and summarily discarded with the petitions on legal grounds, an article in The Hindu - the mouthpiece of the Indian intelligentsia argued how such a legal judgment could serve to encourage the misguided youth from trying more such "experiments". I took it upon myself to argue (as is my wont) back. Here is a copy of the article I sent as an entry to the newspaper: Aligning the alien I count myself as one of the youth of today. And though I am not an aggressive proponent for pre-marital sex or live-in relationships, I was shaken enough to write this response. The author has clearly misunderstood the raison d’etre of live-in relationships. They are not quite the seed of convenience as much as cynicism. In fact, it may well be countered th...

January 1, 2009 Midnight I could not think of starting the New Year in any other way. I am not a great fan of New Year celebrations – my rational mind tells me it’s just like another day, with a fancy name. But, maybe it’s important for the populace to give hope for a new prosperous year. Its almost like people believe a mere increment in the date will get rid of the soiled baggage of the past. I empathize with them. It may not be logical but its about hope and getting motivated. Starting over. Of course, it’s no surprise that most people live in continuity from the previous year and little changes. But the New Year’s frolic provides, apart from windfalls to the cellular and greeting card companies, a push against inertia. Hope is particularly relevant this year, with recession at a global scale ominous in its imminence, diminishing savings, nose-diving investment and impeding the relentless ‘progress’ of human endeavour. Jobs are not secure, banks are not secure. So lif...

Going ahead with my penchant for adapting management principles in life outside the corporate world, my next source of inspiration are feedback forms. To the uninitiated, they are a medium for gauging and improving standards in any organization. Actually, it’s a questionnaire that one has to fill after attending each training session with child-like questions. After filling as many as I have, you run out of new and innovative adjectives to describe the dull and dreary set of questions. Imagine their utility in relationships. A sample form might go like this : Relationship evaluation form Name of participant: Type of relationship: Length of relationship: For those currently in a relationship: What aspects of the relationship do you find most useful? What aspects of the relationship are least helpful to you and why? (if any) What were your objectives when beginning the relationship? To what extent have they been fulfilled? Suggestions/ideas for improvement For those e...

I was reading Jack Welch's book Winning , Welch is ex-CEO with General Electric and has 40 plus years of experience in managing people. I have always thought management principles could be applied to real life as well. So from his chapter on 'Hiring the right people' , I conceived and adapted my own guidelines to 'Finding the right girl': Test for Integrity People with integrity tell the truth. They keep their word. They take responsibility for past actions, admit mistakes and give their best to fix them. Now there is no fool-proof way of testing integrity and hence your gut instinct is very important. More on instinct later. Look for  Intelligence Intelligence need not mean her educational qualifications. She should be able to hold your attention with her words, with an uncanny ability to surprise you and force you to alter your previous judgments about her. Education is just part of the pie, not the whole. Does she show  Maturity? As Welch says, "Mature peop...

"Hey !! How's College??" Oh! The complete sense of ease that follows this remark is remarkable. You know perfectly the routes the conversation is going to take and are familiar with the by-lanes as well. The reason that this very pick-up line is so widely in use among young undergraduates is that complete strangers can become near soul mates within just a few minutes of dialogue after using it. What usually follows is a series of innovative adjectives - that get better with each successive retelling - describing the college, its campus, the crowd, its grandeur and resplendent glory. Hostlers can brag about their night-life while day-scholars rant about the enjoyable trips back and forth. For one practiced in this art, appropriate metaphors also flow with ease, captivating the listener. Of course, well-timed "really!?", "hmmm..", "is that so?", "What about…", etc are all vital and show the level of enthusiasm of the listen...