Sunday, June 8, 2008

Break-up fever

3rd May 2008 Saturday 2130 hrs

I am running a temperature of 101F degrees. My brother says he's got a 100.5 himself. Of course he's lying. There is no way he could still be that active. Though come to think of it, I had fever on and off throughout the day and I hardly took any rest. Fever always has this weird way of giving an illusion of recovery before it returns with redoubled vigour.

Its been a while since I had such a 'high' fever. Whenever I felt feverish, nothing I did would convince the thermometer to go beyond a 100. So today I looked at it with dull self-congratulation as the mercury rose to a 100.9. I'm calling it a 101, I don't care.

I always aimed high as a kid. When my mother would put the stick in my mouth I would pray that the temperature be above 105. At least. All the other kids had had malaria and hay fever. Compared to them, my health chart seemed to be bereft of any excitement. Clearly, I was fiercely competitive as well. Now with time, and better sense (lesser imagination), the target has come down to a lowly 100.

I have been thinking (during the more contemplative and languid phases of my illness) of a break up. Its always a tough ask. My principle is to do it face to face. The idea being - if you can't tell her to the face, 'I don't want to go out with you anymore,' there is still hope. But a logical idea is hardly ever the correct one when it comes to relationships. It can go terribly wrong.

One thing I cannot stand is a girl crying. I am a picture of utter discomfort and helplessness. The break up can cause a break-down which can avalanche into a melt-down of the illogical heart.

But picturing it in your my own head, it can be cool-personified:

A: 'Hi! Long time... You must have been really busy. Hardly answered any of my calls'
P: 'Yeah.. you know I was just home lazing around. Didn't feel like putting in the effort to move my thumb to answer them'
A: 'Well that happens. A month into a relationship... '
P: 'Pity though.. you were really hot and romantic'
A: 'Hey, I still am! Let all your friends know about that'
P: 'Sure will'
A: 'Hey, can I have my DVD back?'.....

The fever lasted for 3 weeks, one of which I spent in hospital. It was diagnosed and treated as Typhoid. But none of the tests ever came out positive