From the mind to the heart

 Dear heart,

Why do you have to be so tempestuous? At one instance, jumping with pleasure at the sight of a text, and then plunging to the depths of the dark oceanic abyss when you realize its not from who you wanted it to be.

Why do you make up highly detailed IMAX 3-D like dreams based on a few sweet words uttered, a stolen glance or two or a half-smile? And then again create horror movies with sudden jump-scares at the slightest rejection, cold look or request for need of "space"?

These palpitations of yours make me oscillate between extremes. I cannot focus or concentrate on anything except how you are feeling and why. I am only a mere adventurer on a raft - going where the waves of your emotions take me.

On the crests, I feel like I am on top of the world. But the troughs soon follow where the world seems bottomless. The painless are the steady days - with mild sinus rhythms as the waves gently lap around me. But you come back with a riposte - who wants to live steady? Why not do something toofani?

Again, the adventurer in me falls for it and goes through the roller coaster, with nary a flicker of control. Should I just accept this as the way it will be for the rest of our lives together? Is that the only type of life worth living?

Anyway, there is nobody else apart from us. So, we might as well keep each other entertained. But, you seem to have overwhelming control over the volume button. There are days I need peace and my space and you insist on violently violating both.

The worst is that you convince me that a life of peace and quiet is not just boring, but that I'm meant for this greater challenge of uncertainty, anxiety and chaos. That draws me in hook, line and sinker - like the gullible fool that I am.

I wish you didn't hurt so much. I worry for you. You seem to be on a self-destructive path and I feel powerless to either change course or close my eyes as I sit in the front row.

With you, till the end,

Mind